Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
