it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize