why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
