After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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