Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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