On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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