I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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