perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
