Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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