i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
