went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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