but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize