who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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