he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
