You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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