No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
