The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
