Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
