well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The adults are the big ones right?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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