i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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