Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
