I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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