i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
