so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
