How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
