you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
