I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
