I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
