There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
