I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
No subtext here. People are naked.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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