God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
