I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
