I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize