I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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