I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize