i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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