We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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