this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
