nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize