lets start a swedish sibling band together
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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