Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
