He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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