So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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