mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
