I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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