Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
