What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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