i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Randomize
