Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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