I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
