i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
