got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
