i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
