Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
