I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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