So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My vagina just recognized that song.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
