my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
