how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Sorry about my life...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
