Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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