I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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