It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so explain again why im purple
no
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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