What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
