Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
