youre lurking in front of me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
His hands were made for my vagina.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
