After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
