I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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