that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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