let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
